Fear of Success or Fear of Failure – Overcoming Those Imaginary Mindsets

Today’s topic was about success and failure – and how certain ingrained mindsets can affect our ability to succeed in business. Some of these messages that we tell ourselves everyday are lessons that we may have learned decades ago – from our parents, teachers or other influencers – and they are still affecting how we make decisions today.
My guest, human behavior expert, Dr. T. Cote Cullaton explained that for many of us, fear of success or fear of failure is holding us back from accomplishing what we really want to do. And that these 2 fears are very similar. Someone who procrastinates or won’t make the final decision to move forward on a project may have a fear of failure – what if this is the wrong decision? Will it make me look bad? Or they may delay decisions because they fear that they might actually succeed, which would put them onto a new level, and outside of their comfort zone.
Many of these “messages” or “chatter” that we say to ourselves each day are things that we learned in childhood or at some point in our lives. “Money doesn’t grow on trees” is a saying that many of us heard as a child, and for many, it relays a message that money is hard to come by. This is an example of how messages can shape our perceptions and of what is expected of us. How would your feelings about money change if you had heard this phrase growing up: “There’s more than enough money for everyone?”
Warning Signs. How do you know if you’re carrying around messages that are holding you back? Dr. Cote says if you feel like you’re ‘driving with the brakes on,’ or if life feels uncomfortable, that’s a common trait. Everyone has a bad day – a blue Monday. But if by Friday you’re still in a funk, it may be more.
3 Things That Create Failure. Dr. Cote says that these 3 things create failure: 1) Fear; 2) Lack of resources of how to fix these negative feelings or messages; 3) Incongruence – being out of alignment (for example: if you setup a detailed plan for a project, but you don’t really believe it will succeed, then you’re not in alignment)
What Can I Do to Overcome These Ingrained Feelings?
Dr. Cote explains that true change must come from the subconscious. Breaking through decades-long negative messages can be done in a variety of ways, depending on how you learn best. All of us receive information differently: some of us learn better with visuals, others with audio or kinesthetic (touch). Hypnotherapy is an effective way to put an end to this negative “chatter.”
Source: The Moriah Center
To listen to this segment in its entirety, go to: Marketing Chat with Nancy Sipera, 6/18/13